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Staying Strong
By: May Saephanh
The traumatic events began on the first night the beautiful white powder known as snow approached the grounds of Portland, in the winter of 2003. My life from that point on has changed dramatically and since then, my entire point of view has modified as well.
On the day on November 20th, 2003, it started to snow. Melissa, Tiffany, and I squealed with joy, hoping that the school would let us out early. They did not, so we waited for the day to end and for school to be over, and gosh it seemed to take forever. Finally, the music started playing and everyone was excused. I came rushing out of class to meet up with Melissa and Tiffany to tell them about someone I was meeting up with after school.
"Melissa!" I screamed. "Where’s Tiffany?" I asked when she came rushing up to me.
"I don’t know, probably left already." Melissa replied.
"Oh." I said. "Well I guess she doesn’t have to meet him then."
"Meet who?" Melissa asked curiously.
"Andrew." I said.
"Oh, that hottie you’re always going off about." Melissa teased.
I looked at her for awhile and then asked her if she will please stay after with me to meet him. At first she gave me a long hard gaze and finally said,
"Ofcourse I will hun." "I’m not gonna let you hog all them fine looking boys." She joked.
"Thanks Melissa." I squealed, giving her a big hug.
We both waited by the main entrance until 4 o’clock and he still did not show. Melissa wanted to leave, but I begged her again to stay for another 15 minutes and if he did not show, I would walk her home. Then I saw him, walking down the steps towards the entrance doors. I stopped breathing and grabbed Melissa by her arm and whispered,
"There he is."
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Melissa said. "Go and greet your man."
"He’s my ex, not my man." I said opening the door as I walked out. "Andrew!" I shouted. At first he did not recognize me until I got closer.
"Hey, is that you Julie?" Andrew asked. "You’ve changed since the last time we met."
"Oh, is that so." I said embracing him with a hug.
Melissa showed up behind me and so I introduced her to Andrew. By then it started to snow again, so we went to Wendy’s to keep ourselves warm and got something to eat. Melissa ordered and came to the table Andrew and I were sitting at.
"Looks good Melissa." I teased her. "Someone seems to have a big appetite."
"Haha, whatever Melissa." She teased back. "Half of this food is yours."
Andrew was quiet and did not seem to talk as much. He just sat there and smiled at me. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I felt his hands going up my legs to my thighs. I gave him a hard stare, and eventually he stopped, but started up again. Each time with a bigger, more innocent looking smile. I had to admit one thing, that smile of his makes me tingly all over. I felt uncomfortable, so I gave him another hard stare, and finally he stopped. Melissa saw what he was doing and she knew how much I disliked it, so she asked it we could take her home. The expression on Andrews’s face lit up, he all of a sudden looked happy, and that look on his face made me feel even more uncomfortable. We then finished the last of our food, bundled up and left. While we were walking Melissa home, Andrew came up to me and slipped his hands over mine.
"Such a lovely night." I said. "So calm and pretty."
"Yeah, but my girl is always prettier than anything else in this world." Andrew replied.
"Whatever, I don’t believe you." I said.
We walked Melissa halfway home and said our good-byes as we parted and went our separate ways. As we were walking towards my house, his grip on me tightened, and we changed directions and headed towards the park.
"Ow, Andrew that hurts." I said. "You don’t have to hold on to me that tight you know."
"Shut-up, I don’t care." He said. "Just follow me."
"No, I want to go home." I pleaded with him.
"Well Julie you can’t go home, I have something to show you, and besides I didn’t come all the way down here to just walk your friend home." "Don’t worry, nothings going to happen. I just want to talk to you about something."
"Well you can talk to me about it now." I said. "I really want to go home."
"Just be quiet and follow me." Andrew said angrily.
By then it was dark already, and yes I was scared, so I just followed him. We walked to the park and sat at a play-set, and there he forced himself at me. At first, it was hard, passionate kisses, then it turned out to be reaching up my shirt and grabbing my chest.
"Andrew, STOP IT!" I yelled. "Let me go home!" "Please." I begged.
"Just do what I say, and I’ll let you go home." He yelled back at me. "I don’t want to hurt such a pretty girl like you, but damn if you don’t listen, I think I’m going to have too." He said slightly laughing.
That’s when I figured it all out, I was going to be raped. I never knew Andrew was that type of person, till now. Who knows what he will do to me afterwards? I was scared, and did not know what to do, but to follow orders. He held on to me so hard to make sure that I would not get away. He kept kissing me and was enjoying himself, and as for me, I was really cold and uncomfortable. He then started reaching down my pants, but could not reach down, because of my belt.
"STOP IT!" I screamed. "I don’t want to do this Andrew."
"Baby, you’ll enjoy this." He said to me.
"Andrew!" "Let me go!" I screamed again.
He then kissed me, so I would stop screaming. I turned my head away from his kiss and said,
"Stop it please." I begged.
Andrew then pushed me, and made me lay down. And before I knew it, he was on top of me, fumbling with my belt. He had a hard time getting it off and was becoming frustrated. I tried to move, but he pushed himself harder on top of me, blocking my breathing. He finally undid my belt and started pulling off my jeans. I tried to stop him from taking them off, but he was alot stronger than me, and got it off first. He then grabbed and pinned my arms down so hard on the play structure, that it made my arms go numb and made me helpless laying there. I could not believe this was happening to me. As I lay there not knowing what to do, tears started forming in my eyes and I started to cry. Out of nowhere, all my anger I held in burst out from me like a mean, green monster wanting to hurt him for what he is doing to me. I tried pushing him off me so that I would have a chance to get up and run. He did not budge and seemed to know what I was trying to do, and so he pushed down on my stomach so hard that it knocked the living breath out of me.
"Baby don’t cry." "I didn’t mean to hurt you, but damn Julie, you were asking for it." Andrew whispered into my ears.
Whimpering through tears of pain, I said to Andrew,
"Andrew what your doing is wrong." "Just please let me go home." "I don’t deserve to be treated like this."
"What I am doing is none of your business." He replied. "And don’t think about reporting this to the police either."
I started crying harder, not because of what he was doing to me, but because of how I lay there helplessly letting him force his body on mine. When I felt him trying to get his dick into me, I became so grossed out, I fought back. I was not going to let someone take my virginity away from me, especially him. I tried so hard not letting him put it inside me that I was tired and out of breath. He kept pushing me harder on my stomach making it harder for me to breathe. He got it half way in me, and I screamed.
"Andrew that hurts!" "STOP IT!"
"You know your enjoying it." He said back to me. "Don’t be denying it."
"I’m not denying anything, I’m telling the truth, it really hurts!" I yelled. "I’m really not enjoying this at all, and I want you to stop!"
I’ll stop when I want to stop." Andrew answered back.
By then tears started to form in my eyes again. Nothing I said or done would stop him from what he was doing to me. I had no other way to stop the tears from coming, but to cry it all out. It was late and cold, all I wanted was to go home to where it was safe. Andrew seemed to get mad at me, and started yelling at me again.
"Spread your legs, damn it."
"NO!" I screamed. "You’re not going to make me either." "I want to go home!" "Let me go home!" I kept yelling.
He got scared that someone was going to hear us, so he eventually stopped with trying the put his dick into me. He then asked me to give him my head.
"Are you crazy, why in the world would I give you my head?" I asked him.
"Just give it to me." He replied.
"No!" I yelled.
He became mad, grabbed my head and pulled me down to where I was head to head with his penis. I was about to barf, but held it in.
"Suck it." He whispered. "You’ll love the taste of it also."
"No way!" "Are you nuts or something!" I asked him. "Do I look that type of girl to you or something?"
"Yes you do Julie." "A dumb ass who liked me in the first place." He said to me. "Just suck it for christ sake." "It’s not that hard."
"NO!" I said turning my head. "I don’t care, I’m not doing it."
"Fine then, if your not going to do what I say, you won’t be able to go home anytime soon." Andrew said.
"I don’t care if I don’t get to go home, I am not putting my mouth on that thing of yours." I answered him back.
"Are you sure about that Julie?" He asked me.
"Yes I am sure of it." I said. "I don’t care if you kill me in order to get my mouth on it, because there is no way I am putting that disgusting thing in my mouth."
In the midst of the night, I could tell by his tensed shoulders he was getting pissed. I was not following orders and I was surprised. He then grabbed me by my shoulders, and shook me so hard, my eyeballs felt like they were going to roll out of my eye socket. I screamed,
"STOP IT!" "What in the world are you trying to do to me?"
"Suck it!" He screamed at me.
"How many times do you want me to tell you, NO!" I yelled back at him.
"Damn Julie, why are you so complicated!" He yelled at me.
"Gosh Andrew, why don’t you just let me go home." I said angrily.
"I’ll let you go home under one condition." He said. "That’s if you give me a hand job first."
"Oh my gosh!" I screamed at him. "Why do you want me to do all these things?" I asked him.
"Well Julie, that’s because you turn me on." He said, smiling.
"Well Andrew, guess what?"
"What?"
"I’m not going to do that either!" I yelled at him.
He then grabbed my hands and forced me to grab his dick. It was the nastiest thing I ever felt in my entire life. I tried pulling my hands off, but he grabbed it and would not let me let go of his penis. He then told me to jerk it. I did not do it, so he moved my hand up and down, enjoying himself, while I sat there sobbing. Through tears, I asked him
"May I please go home now, Andrew?" I begged him.
"No, you may not, Julie." He said. "You still haven’t done what I asked of you to do."
"Andrew please, let me go home."
........................nOt doNE aNd pPlz dIS isH fIcTiOn...nOt tRuE..... | 
